Rethinking Confidence: What the Stories Taught Me
“Navigating change with awareness, vulnerability, and purpose.”
SOMA | The ARC-G Well
Last week, I had the privilege of moderating a panel on confidence, a word that, for many of us, evokes images of poise, certainty, and composure.
But as the evening unfolded, it became clear that real confidence often looks much quieter than that.
It’s not the absence of fear, but the decision to keep showing up even when fear is present.
Each panelist’s story revealed a different face of confidence. Not as a fixed trait, but as something built over time through awareness, resilience, and connection.
Awareness: When Courage Arrives Before Readiness
One of the panelists, a lawyer, shared her story of working alongside her father for years with the understanding that she would one day take over his firm. That day came much sooner than expected when her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away within eleven months.
Suddenly, she was leading a company while grieving, overwhelmed, and unsure if she was ready. She admitted that in those early days, confidence was nowhere to be found, but courage was.
And courage, she learned, often has to arrive before readiness.
Through that experience, she became aware that confidence isn’t something you feel before you act; it’s something that grows because you act.
Resilience: Rebuilding When Everything Falls Apart
Another speaker shared a story of profound disruption. Early in her career, with two small children at home, she lost her job and in the same season, her marriage ended.
In a single moment, every structure that had defined her stability disappeared.
She described standing in her kitchen one night, surrounded by bills and toys, realizing that no one was coming to fix this. So she began, one decision, one day at a time.
A new career. A new rhythm. A new version of herself.
Her confidence wasn’t loud or linear. It was a quiet form of resilience, built through self-trust and necessity. A reminder that confidence can grow in the rubble of what once felt safe.
Connection: Returning to Yourself After Doubt
Our final panelist, a male executive, spoke about a season when a toxic client relationship slowly eroded his sense of confidence.
He began second-guessing his decisions and shrinking himself to avoid conflict, until he realized he was making choices rooted in fear rather than alignment.
Over time, he saw that every fear-based decision pulled him further from his own clarity and that the way back wasn’t about proving himself, but about reconnecting to who he was before the doubt set in.
His story reminded all of us that confidence is deeply relational, not just with others, but with ourselves. When we’re connected to our values, our confidence naturally follows.
The Thread That Ties Them Together
Confidence isn’t something we possess; it’s something we practice.
It’s not loud or flawless, it’s alive, responsive, and deeply human.
The stories that night reminded me that confidence takes many forms:
The lawyer who led before she was ready.
The mother who rebuilt from the ground up.
The executive who learned that clarity and courage are companions.
Each of them taught a simple truth: confidence grows through experience, through awareness, resilience, and connection.
Reflection Questions
Where in your life have you mistaken confidence for certainty?
What experience helped you build quiet strength or self-trust?
How can you reconnect with yourself when doubt starts to take over?
About the Author
Written by Nichole Michelson, APC, PCC , ELI-MP - therapist, coach, and founder of SOMA Wellness, where personal and professional growth begins with Awareness, Resilience, and Connection.
The ARC-G Well is a space for reflection and recalibration, where we explore what it means to return to yourself and live with greater presence, purpose, and peace.
