The Wolves We Feed
How Attention Becomes Reality and What We’re Choosing
There’s an old parable, shared across cultures, often told like this:
A grandfather tells his grandchild that inside every person live two wolves. One wolf is driven by fear, anger, envy, resentment, and shame. The other by compassion, clarity, courage, gratitude, and steadiness.
The child asks, “Which wolf wins?”
The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”
At first glance, it sounds like a simple moral story. But beneath it lives something deeply psychological and deeply human.
Attention Is Not Neutral
From a psychological perspective, this parable isn’t about “good” versus “bad.” It’s about attention, repetition, and reinforcement.
Our nervous systems are constantly scanning for threat and safety. What we dwell on, what we rehearse internally, literally shapes neural pathways. The thoughts we revisit become familiar. The emotions we indulge become easier to access. The narratives we repeat begin to feel like truth.
This isn’t mindset fluff. It’s how learning, habit formation, and emotional conditioning actually work. What we feed doesn’t just influence how we feel. It shapes what we notice, what we expect, and ultimately what we experience as reality.
Feeding Isn’t Always Conscious
Most of us don’t wake up deciding to feed the anxious wolf.
We feed it when we:
Start the day scrolling before grounding
Rehearse worst-case scenarios
Speak to ourselves with a harshness we’d never use with others
Stay in environments that reward urgency over presence
Confuse productivity with worth
Likewise, we feed the steadier wolf when we:
Slow our breathing when activated
Choose curiosity over judgment
Interrupt rumination
Name what’s actually happening instead of catastrophizing
Return to our bodies, not just our thoughts
Neither wolf disappears. But one grows louder. One grows stronger. One takes the lead.
Why This Matters as We Enter 2026
As a new year approaches, there’s often pressure to optimize, fix, or reinvent ourselves.
But what if the more powerful question isn’t “What will I accomplish?”
What if it’s: What am I feeding daily, quietly, consistently?
Because 2026 won’t be built by grand resolutions. It will be built by:
The tone of your inner dialogue
The inputs you allow into your nervous system
The pace you normalize
The stories you believe when things feel uncertain
A Gentle Reframe
This isn’t about starving parts of yourself.
The fearful wolf isn’t wrong, it’s protective. The critical wolf is trying to keep you safe. The restless wolf learned its job somewhere long ago. But feeding doesn’t mean obeying.
It means choosing:
Awareness instead of autopilot
Intention instead of default
Presence instead of constant preparedness
You don’t need to feed the steadier wolf constantly. You just need to feed it consistently.
A Pause for Reflection
Before rushing to name intentions or make plans for the year ahead, it can be helpful to pause. Not to analyze or fix, but to notice. To gently take inventory of what has been receiving your attention, often without conscious choice.
I created a short reflection to support this kind of noticing; quiet, honest, and non-performative.
It’s an invitation to explore:
What has been getting fed
What it may be costing you
What you want to nourish more intentionally as you move into 2026
There’s no outcome required. No pressure to change anything right away.
Awareness alone is enough to begin shifting patterns.
What Am I Feeding in 2026?
A gentle reflection for the year ahead can be accessed here
Closing
The life we experience is shaped not only by what happens to us, but by what we repeatedly give our attention to. As we step into a new year, perhaps the most meaningful intention isn’t a goal, but a willingness to notice.
To become more conscious of what we are feeding. And to do so with compassion, not control. That’s often where real change begins. Quietly. Gently. From within.
SOMA | The ARC-G Well
Awareness. Resilience. Connection. Growth.
